Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Slow dancing with 40

   It started with the whats up nod, graduated to some flirty banter, and racy emails, but now I am officially slow dancing with 40. Parties are fun to plan, and time consuming, it would be easy to get caught up in decisions about cake vs cupcakes but the universe keeps reminding me that a little introspection is in order.
   Playing poker last night I was seated next to one of my least favorite people in the room, the young guy who maybe "already knows everything", and I learned a couple of things. Firstly, the kid is kinda likeable after all and secondly, how very differently people define success. The kid posed a question,  "do we think that people with allot of money are more successful". The kid was of the opinion that if you "pulled up in a Ferrari" people think your successful and treat you accordingly. I said that money isn't necessarily an indicator of success, how can you measure Gandhi's life using money as the measuring tool.  Another person said she thinks success is measured by your relationships, and the guy who got the closest to how I feel about the matter using the least words said " a lot of money makes you rich not successful. This conversation got me thinking...
    How would the girl holding her baby sister in this picture view her adult life, would she think I'm successful?

   I'm pretty sure this young woman would be kinda dissapointed in how she turned out. Making lots of money was on her agenda, that and having lots of friends. My almost 40 self, remembers the crazy stress of working for someone who could be really nasty, making more money than I had thought possible, but not being as happy daily then as I am now making much less money working for myself. My grown up self has a smaller circle of friends than I could have imagined back then, but has learned the difference between true friends and acquaintances, and my best friend in the graduation my best friend all these years later. Maybe I could explain those things to that young woman and she would understand, after all I forgave her for the bad hair.
   What will the woman in this picture think of her life in another 40 years? My definition of success has changed, but does my life reflect my values? I spent from 20 to 39.85 feeling my way, kinda muddling around, will my next years be lived with a better focus?

   It turns out when your slow dancing with 40 it gets easier to imagine slow dancing with 80, and when I get there the only thing I want to have to apologize for is the hair.



  1. Nicely said Mandi! And that was cool hair back then!!